people that i miss (in no particular order whatsoever):

richard
ryan
chris
drew (even though i do see them every so often)
both my grandfathers
bob ross
christina (UVIC)
lindsey
bill
mike
my next door neighbours/cousins (even though they still are my next door neighbours)
the man in the moon
robyn
orion
sheena (i see her, just not a lot)
jiuna
kevin
pater
nathaniel
vinny
nate (i see them every once in a while. but very rarely)
vivian (going to Queens)
agatha (at UVIC)
abu dhabi
lenna & nelly

i'm sure theres more...

i'm sad now...

have you ever tried to deny or ignore something, even though it was right there in front of your face?

just wondering.....

i want more cds.

i like music. i can't sing, or play an instrument, but i like listening to it.

(BTW, The EAGLES kick so much ASS!!)

Actually, for some reason, i've been listening to t.A.T.u. recently. i dunno why. i've re-discovered how much i like them. And, as usual, "Show Me Love" is one of my fave songs to listen to, as is "Malchik Gei" (can't remember if that's how you spell it or not. but whatev.)

right now i'm reading Laurell K Hamilton's newest book "Incubus Dreams".

mmmmm...

i love Jason. I would probably fall in love with a guy like that. or something. there's just something about him, you know? something that i can't really name.

I love Asher too. mmmmmmm... Asher. He's just so... well, for one, he's vampire, so automatically he's sexy. no question about it. and he's just so... i dunno... Asher. he's sexy and caring and everything. i just can't help but love him.

Nathaniel. He's a key player in the newest book. I love him because he's adorable. and sexy. and his hair *sighs*.

i love my new ring.

its kinda funny, how i can jump from subject to subject without having something to bridge the two together.

what else...

i'm not entirely sure... i'm in comp-sci right now, and i'm bored. and i'm scared of the midterm that's going to happen in 25 minutes. i didn't study all that much cuz i had to do a project and stuff. man, i'm gonna be screwed. oh well. i did ok on the quiz without studying that much. here's hoping i won't do shitty on the midterm.

i want to go to Victoria and see the Egyptology thing with my family (well, my mom and dad at least. my sister already saw it.) but we'll be going on saturday, and if i can't find someone to take my shift, i won't be able to go and its only gonna be here til... next week i think? i think... i dunno. but i really really really want to go!! so, i just have to find someone...

easier said than done. dammit. oh well, i'll just have to try really hard. but i desperately want to go. i mean, its Egypt!! and apparently there's a really good IMAX thingy too!!

oh man, now i want to go even more!!

whatev.

i'm sad now. stupid work (i love my job tho!!). stupid midterm. stupid life.

its out to get me you know. life hates me. oh well.

i don't care.

now i'm mad.

grr.

okokok, I'm sorry Drew. I said i would post and i didn't. i apologise for not keeping you entertained this morning or whatever. You have really nice Cheek bones that are really nicely accented by just the right amounts of blush.

and mike, i appreciate the offer. you can be added to the list.

***

Caitlin's Quote of the Week is:

"Why didn't you finger us harder??!!"

...

there is a story that goes with that so it doesn't sound the way it sounds. cuz that's not how i meant it to come out.

so... on Friday, The Girls (Me, Karen, Sheena, Jolene, Vikki and Em) went clubbing, sorta. We went to Stone Temple, which was very fun. However, beforehand, we had made a code. If any one of us was in trouble while dancing with or near a guy, we'd give the group the finger and thus someone would come to the rescue.

Some mexican guy (Juan, though we're not sure that's his real name or not, its what we're calling him) took a fancy to Karen and they were dancing/talking. apparently she had given us the finger, however, i completely missed it.

so, while going home, we were talking about it and i said "Well, why didn't you finger us if you were in trouble?"

"I DID!!" was karen's reply.

"Well, Why didn't you finger us harder??!!" I shot back. there was silence for a second, then everybody started laughing.

i was all "oops." but it was still funny.

***

The KKK Party:

Mucho fun. Although i didn't get to drink as much as i wanted, there was much funness there. Saw the grade 11s and spent most of the night talking to them. Hugged Jake everytime i saw him. When he left, my new friend Parker became the new Jake, and I hugged him everytime i saw him. it worked out fine.

there was cake. I shared mine with Jared, another new friend. he ate most of the chocolate. but that's ok. i still love him.

and I love Lee too. he's awesome. i love them all!!!

um... yah. i'm sure other stuff happened that was exciting. some ppl, like Drew, started singing old cartoon theme songs.

MIKE was there!! so i saw him and talked to him a bit.

um... Jiuna was there, so I molested her, as per usual.

DAMN if that girl isn't fine!!

anyhoo... yah. KKK was fun.

so yah... and stuff...

kk, done now. maybe i'll post later or something... like.. a few days.. maybe a week... it'll be sooner than a month, ok?

ok, now i'm really done.

bye.

...

Hi. How are you?

do you really want to know?

Well, why would I ask if I didn't want to know?

it's called being polite. I've heard of it.

You've only heard of it? You don't experience it every day?

probably not the same way you do.

Well... why not?

i don't know.

Oh... Ok... So... How are you?

you've already asked me that.

You never answered.

why should you care how i am? if i was depressed, would you really want to know? or would you rather hear 'no, i'm fine.' even if its a complete lie? if i was depressed and had thoughts of suicide, would you want to know? why is it any of your business anyway? who the fuck are you to pry into my life?

... I... You're not seriously thinking those kinds of thoughts are you? I mean, even if you were, I would still want to know.

why?

Maybe I could help you somehow.

help how? 'There there, everything will be ok. This is just a phase.' not likely.

You're not really thinking like that, are you?

its none of your business if i am. theres no way you could help if i was, anyway.

You don't know that!

um... yah, i do. you're the kind of person i would avoid usually.

You're not avoiding me now. We're having a conversation.

yah, and its sick and kinda fucked up. 'are you depressed? is there anything i can do?' you know what i would say to you if you said that to me?

No, what?

fuck off. and maybe i would spit at you before walking away.

...

yah, that's right. you don't have anything to say to that, do you?

No, I don't.

jeez, i didn't think i'd make you cry.

I'm not crying. I'm sad because-

you pity me. 'what a sad existence' or something like that right? Right?

Something like that.

i don't like pity.

I can't help how I feel.

neither can i.

Are you always this cold to people?

no. usually i'm a lot meaner.

Is this you being nice?

i don't do nice. this is me being sociable.

So really... How are you?

we've had this conversation before...

****

So... yah. i dunno what that was about. it just popped into my head.

i had a great long weekend! spent time with the fam, got drunk, ate good food... man, that's the life.

Monday was great too. Karnie's 19th birthday (finally!)

Actually, first it was Ryan's hockey game. That was fun. Talked with Jen about all sorts of stuff. She's cool. I like her.

Then we went to Silver City to meet up with Karnie and Kiki and met some new friends!! then we all went to BP cuz they were open and we wanted to drink!

Parker, Lee, Jared and Alex!! Those are our new friends! I can't wait to hang out with them again!

um... yah. Clubbing on the 15th (Girls only!!) then the KKK Party!! (That's kyle, kiki and Karen, btw) Woop Woop!

Can't drink to much on the 16th though. got early morning shift at work...

So, as of right now, I have 4 back-ups in place.

1) Greg - He's prolly gonna fall in love sometime and get married and live happily ever after (the bastard)

2) Steve - He'll prolly back out at some point. Plus, we might kill each other despite getting along most of the time.

3) Jake - He won't marry me. I'm almost sure of that. He doesn't love me. He'll back out too.

4) Richard - Um.. he hates me and wants me dead.

But its ok. Because I have another back-up plan!! If my back-ups don't want to marry me, I have another plan!!

1) Be Crazy Cat Lady.

After being rejected by my4 back ups (the list might get longer), I'll have reason to go crazy. I will then by cats. Many, many cats. Some will be actual pets while the others will be trained to live in a cloth bag that is kept by my side, and learn to be cat torpedos that fly through the air, latch on to the person who comes near my house, and attack.

2) Be Crazy Snake Lady.

If the cats reject me, I plan to have the same plan as above, but with snakes.

3) Be Crazy Monkey Lady

If the snakes reject me, its the Cat Lady plan, except with monkeys.

4) Be Crazy Bear Lady

If the monkeys reject me, take the Cat Lady plan, change 'cloth bag' with 'catapult' and that's about it.

And if that fails as well (as in, not only do the men reject me, but so do the animals), I will committ suicide. Cuz really, if not only 4 guys reject me, but 4 animals... c'mon. what's the point in living?? besides chocolate?

mmm... chocolate....

So yah. When I'm about 40ish (age may change with time), and I'm single, this is my grand plan.

Isnt' it great?